The Vig

By now you’ve no doubt heard the tape of Larry Craig’s interrogation has been made public by the Minneapolis police.  The Senator doesn’t come off well at all.  We learn he’s a “wide guy” who’s clumsy with toilet paper and thinks it no big deal to touch another man’s foot while doing his business in the stall of a public restroom.  Being a “wide guy” myself, I can tell you from experience that when I’m in a public restroom, I try to make myself as narrow as possible and get out of there as quickly as possible.  No eye contact.  No fumbling for lost toilet paper.  The five second rule is waived when it comes to the TP.  Even at home.

The reaction by the majority of folks has been swift and decisive.  The guy needs to go.  And it’s not because he’s gay.  And it’s not because he’s closeted.  It’s because this behavior, in such a public place, is simply unacceptable.  I cannot imagine bringing my buddy’s kids into a mens room only to find two grown men wandering out of a single stall.  Or two grown women.  Or a man and a woman for that matter.  There’s a time and a place and a public restroom is neither.  I shouldn’t have to explain to a 10-year-old why there are two sets of feet in a toilet stall.  I just shouldn’t.

I say the majority of folks have been pretty decisive in their opinion that Craig needs to go.  There is a minority though that I heard on right wing radio today who believe Craig should stay and fight.  Why?  Because the liberal sexual trinity of Clinton, Kennedy, and Frank all got to keep their jobs, so why shouldn’t Craig keep his?  One caller on the Hugh Hewitt Show was particularly priceless.

“When someone brings up Mark Foley,” he suggested, “you should respond ‘on a scale of one-to-Barney Frank, Mark Foley is a two.’”

How can you argue with logic like that?  Oh, that’s right.  Mark Foley was a pedophile.  You’re certainly not going to get a defense of any of them out of me, but come on.  Because Kennedy got a pass and was re-elected, you really think Craig should get one too?  Alright.  Go for it!  Run Larry Craig for re-election.  See how that goes in Idaho.

The thing is, on Hannity, on Hewitt, on Rusty Humphries…caller after caller barked about Clinton and Barney Frank and said Craig should fight.  Even local guy Mark Mason got a couple of calls from the fringe claiming Craig had been entrapped.  One called Craig’s actions “benign activity.”  Riiiight.  It was all benign right up to the point where the two gentlemen began to engage in sexual activity.  Do you think this is the first time Craig has done this?  At this airport?  If you believe that…I can’t help you.

Whats ironic here is the majority of the folks defending Craig are the same folks who claim to be “Values Voters”.  The same folks who voted against same-sex marriage.  Who attend homophobic churches.  Who claim homosexuality is a sin.  Yet they’re going to defend Craig?  Yikes.

Further irony has come from the gay community.  Do  they like Craig’s politics?  Absolutely not.  But they also see a guy who’s in a similar spot many of them were thirty years ago.  Closeted and perhaps ashamed.  I can’t speak for the gay community, but I’d be willing to bet they’d welcome Craig with open arms if he’d come out.  I mean, honestly come out.  McGreevy-style.  I may well be wrong, but I don’t think I am.

The paradox.  Larry Craig may end up further fracturing the Republican party.  Stay with me here…

Rush Limbaugh has compared the political spectrum to a football field.  You’ve got your rock-solid conservatives occupying the space from one goal line out to the 40-yard-line.  On the opposite side, liberals take up space from their goal line to their 40.  And between the 40s are the voters both teams are trying to attract.  If you can get the majority of that 20%, you’re going to win your election.

Those people calling in to Hannity et al. today were all way down toward the 10-yard-line of the conservative movement.  That is to say they’re crazy-hardcore.  And what those folks love to do more than anything is lob grenades at the hardcore 10-yard-line on the other side.  When you hear any Republican bring up the names Bill Clinton or Ted Kennedy, you’re hearing one of these whack jobs.  Ann Coulter comes to mind.

The problem is they have to lob the grenade over the heads of everyone standing in-between.  And those in-betweeners are getting awful tired of the act.  And eventually the in-betweeners fail to distinguish between their friend standing just to their right and the guys who are actually lobbing the grenades.  And the in-betweeners begin to move toward the other side.  I believe we saw this manifest itself in 2006.

So what will happen is the guys in the middle, who are the guys running for election, will ignore the rhetoric of the grenade throwers and try to talk some sense.  Which is what’s happening.  Romney and McCain have both moved way far away from Craig.  But see this ticks off the grenade throwers, who the candidates simply cannot win an election without.  Hence the paradox.  Either follow the grenade throwers and piss off the middle.  Or take your chances with the middle and piss off the grenade throwers.  This strategy didn’t work out so well on immigration.

What to do, what to do?  I wonder who Fred Thompson will ally himself with next week…