The Vig

An author with a new book out gets invited to appear on Oprah. The catch? He can’t discuss the book.

Apparently she hasn’t even read my book and being a first-time author and going on Oprah but being told you can’t mention your book is pretty much akin to having Charlize Theron walk up real close to you, take off all her clothes, look you in the eye — lean so close you can feel her warm breath — and whisper in your ear: You may not touch me.

Every author in America, from Stephen King to Dave Zirin dreams of one day discussing his book with America’s greatest bookseller.  And to drag him or her onto the show and not allow them to even mention their book…well, it ain’t right.  So here’s to you, Chris Rose, fellow depression survivor.  May your book sell a million copies.  May you move to Belize.  May you live out your years comfortably with an umbrella drink in your hand.  Just don’t forget us little people who helped along the way.